Psalm 51 — Have Mercy on Me, O God

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to Your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight. So You are right in Your verdict and justified when You judge. This is Psalm fifty-one. King David wrote it after the prophet Nathan confronted him with his sin. David had taken Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah. He had arranged for Uriah's death in battle. He had thought he had gotten away with it. Until Nathan said, You are the man. David did not deny. He did not deflect. He did not minimize. He wrote this Psalm. Have mercy on me, O God. Tonight, I pray it too. Not because I have committed David's sins, perhaps. But because I have my own sins, and the response is the same. Have mercy on me, O God. The first move. Not, defend me. Not, explain me. Have mercy on me. I throw myself on Your mercy, because I have nothing else. According to Your steadfast love. The Hebrew word is hesed. Covenant love. Loyal love. Love that does not change because of my failures. I appeal to Your hesed, Lord. Blot out my transgressions. Erase them. Like a debt erased from a ledger. Like words erased from a scroll. Make them as if they had never been recorded. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. Saint Paul writes in First John one, If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. The cleansing is total. For I know my transgressions. I do not pretend they did not happen. I see them. I name them. I bring them to You without disguise. And my sin is ever before me. I do not minimize them. I let myself feel the weight of what I did. Not to wallow. To repent. Against You, You only, have I sinned. Yes, I have hurt other people. Yes, the human consequences are real. But ultimately, all sin is against You. You are the one whose love I have rejected. You are the one whose holiness I have offended. Cast me not away from Your presence, and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. The fear of the believer who has fallen. Not, send me to hell. But, do not let me lose Your presence. The worst possible outcome is not punishment. It is being separated from You. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. Joy. The first thing sin steals. The believer who is in unrepented sin loses joy. Restoration of joy is the proof of restoration of grace. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners will return to You. Forgiveness flows outward. The one who has been forgiven much loves much. Once I am restored, I become an instrument of restoration for others. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Create. The same word used in Genesis one. Only You can create. The new heart is not a renovation of the old. It is a new creation. Lord, tonight I bring You my sins, the ones I confess explicitly and the ones I have forgotten or am not yet aware of. Cleanse me. Restore me. Renew me. The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise. I am a little broken tonight. I am a little contrite. Receive that as my offering. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.