Healing a Broken Heart

Lord, my heart is broken. Not a figure of speech — it feels physically broken. There is a weight in my chest, a hollowness in my stomach, and tears that come without warning. "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit." — Psalm 34:18 You are close to me right now, Lord. Not distant. Not looking away. Close. As close as my next breath. Closer than the pain. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS PAIN: I do not understand why love has to hurt this much. Why trust has to be broken this cruelly. Why the people we give our hearts to sometimes destroy them. Lord, I do not understand, and right now I cannot pretend to. I AM NOT OKAY: I know I am supposed to be strong. I know people say "time heals all wounds" and "God has a plan." And maybe they are right. But right now, in this moment, those words feel hollow and I am not okay. And I think You are okay with me not being okay. You did not condemn the psalmists for their laments. You did not silence Jeremiah's tears. You wept at Lazarus's grave even though You were about to raise him. You understand that sometimes the only honest prayer is: "Lord, this hurts." SO HERE IS MY HONEST PRAYER: This hurts, Lord. Deeply. Terribly. The kind of hurt that makes me question everything. But even in this pain, I choose You. Not because I feel Your presence — I may not. But because I have nowhere else to go. You have the words of eternal life. LORD, BEGIN THE HEALING: I do not expect it to happen overnight. Broken hearts are not microwave meals — they are slow-cooked in grace and time. But begin the process, Lord. Start with one small thing. One moment of peace. One hour without tears. One morning where the first thought is not the pain. And Lord, when the healing is complete — because I trust it will be — let me use this scar to help someone else. Let this pain become compassion. Let this wound become wisdom. I trust You with my broken heart. Handle it gently. Amen.