What sins do I need to confess?

All mortal sins, by kind and by number as far as you can recall them. A sin is mortal when it is grave matter, done with full knowledge and with deliberate consent — all three. Venial sins need not be confessed, though the Church warmly recommends it. If you are unsure whether something was mortal, say so to the priest and let him judge; that is exactly what he is there for.

How do I go to confession if it has been years?

Say that first: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been about fifteen years since my last confession, and I am not sure how to do this.” The priest will take it from there. Nothing you say will shock him, he is bound by an absolute seal that no circumstance lifts, and a person returning after a long absence is the best thing that happens in his week.

How often should I go to confession?

The Church requires it at least once a year for anyone conscious of grave sin, and immediately in the case of mortal sin. Many find that monthly confession is where it stops being an ordeal and starts doing its work.

Can I go to confession if I have not made my First Communion?

In the Latin Church, first confession normally comes just before First Communion, and both are prepared for together. If you are an adult who was never fully initiated, speak to a priest at your local parish — the way in is OCIA (called RCIA until the American bishops renamed it in 2024) or its equivalent, and asking costs nothing. The stages are set out at /tools/how-to-become-catholic.

Is this examination Catholic?

Yes. It follows the Catholic numbering of the Ten Commandments and includes the Precepts of the Church. It is written for the Latin Church; Eastern Catholic practice differs in some particulars, and your own parish priest is the right person to ask about those.

What if I cannot remember everything?

Then you confess what you remember. The sacrament does not depend on the completeness of your memory, and a sin genuinely forgotten is forgiven with the rest. If it comes back to you later, mention it next time.

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Examination of Conscience

81 questions for confession, arranged by the Ten Commandments, with sections for married people, parents, working life and the young, the steps of confession in order, and the Act of Contrition. Nobody is meant to answer all of it. Take the parts that are yours.

Before you begin

Find fifteen quiet minutes, ideally before the Blessed Sacrament, and ask the Holy Spirit to show you your life as it is. Then read slowly. Some questions will not apply to you at all; pass over them without a second thought.

This is not a test, and a long list of yeses is not a worse result than a short one. Scrupulosity — the compulsion to keep searching for sins that are not there — is itself something to bring to a priest rather than to feed. If a section starts to frighten rather than clarify, stop, and say that in the confessional instead.

By the Ten Commandments

1. I am the Lord your God; you shall not have strange gods before me

The first commandment is not only about worshipping something else. It is about what a life is actually organised around, which is rarely what a person would say it is.

Have I given my time, attention and trust to something other than God — money, work, status, another person, my own comfort?
Have I prayed at all, or only when I wanted something?
Have I doubted or denied the faith, or kept quiet about it when speaking would have cost me something?
Have I put my hope in horoscopes, mediums, fortune-telling, or the occult?
Have I received Holy Communion while conscious of grave sin, without confessing first?
Have I presumed on God’s mercy — planning to sin because I could be forgiven afterwards?
Have I despaired of God’s mercy, believing something I have done is beyond forgiving?

2. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain

A name is how a person is addressed. This commandment guards the way God, and everything belonging to God, is spoken of.

Have I used God’s name, or the name of Jesus, Mary or the saints, carelessly, angrily or as a swear word?
Have I sworn an oath falsely, or made a promise in God’s name I did not intend to keep?
Have I made a vow to God and neglected it?
Have I spoken about holy things mockingly, or joined in when others did?
Have I been ashamed to be known as a Catholic?

3. Remember to keep holy the Lord’s Day

Sunday is not a rule about attendance. It is a claim that one day in seven belongs to God and to rest, and that a week arranged without it is arranged wrongly.

Have I missed Mass on a Sunday or holy day of obligation through my own fault?
Have I arrived late, left early, or been deliberately inattentive through the Mass?
Have I done unnecessary work, or required it of others, in a way that made the day no different from any other?
Have I kept Sunday as a day of rest and of time given to my family, or filled it entirely?
Have I fasted for one hour before receiving Holy Communion?

4. Honour your father and your mother

This commandment reaches past childhood. It covers every relationship of authority and dependence a person stands in — as child, parent, employee, employer, citizen.

Have I been disrespectful, dismissive or unkind to my parents, or neglected them in their old age?
As a parent, have I given my children the faith — not only in words, but by taking them to Mass and praying with them?
Have I been so absent, distracted or short-tempered at home that my family has learned to expect it?
Have I obeyed just laws, and shown respect to those in lawful authority?
Have I treated those who work for me, or under me, with justice and with patience?

5. You shall not kill

The fifth commandment protects life, and the Church reads it as covering not only its ending but everything that wears it down — in others and in oneself.

Have I harmed anyone physically, or wished harm on them?
Have I nursed anger, refused to forgive, or kept a grievance alive?
Have I been cruel with words — to a spouse, a child, a colleague, a stranger online?
Have I procured, assisted in or encouraged an abortion?
Have I abused alcohol or drugs, or driven dangerously, or otherwise treated my own life carelessly?
Have I harmed myself, or thought about ending my life?
Have I neglected my health, my rest or my body in ways I know are damaging?
Have I led anyone else into sin by my example or my encouragement?

6. You shall not commit adultery

The sixth and ninth commandments together cover chastity in act and in thought. These are the questions people most often dread; they are also the ones priests hear most, and are least surprised by.

Have I been unfaithful to my spouse, in act or in intention?
Have I engaged in sexual activity outside marriage?
Have I used pornography, or sought out images or conversation for the sake of lust?
Have I treated another person as an object rather than a person?
Have I used contraception contrary to the Church’s teaching, or refused my spouse without good reason?
Have I spoken about sex crudely, or in a way that cheapened it for someone younger than me?

7. You shall not steal

Theft is the obvious part. The commandment also covers debts, work, waste, and what is owed to people who cannot enforce it.

Have I taken what belongs to another, or kept something I found or borrowed?
Have I cheated — on taxes, expenses, an exam, an insurance claim, a benefits form?
Have I given a fair day’s work for my pay, or wasted time I was paid for?
Have I paid my debts, and paid those who worked for me promptly and fairly?
Have I damaged or wasted what belongs to others, or to everyone?
Have I given to the poor in proportion to what I actually have?
Have I made restitution for anything I took or damaged?

8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour

This commandment governs speech about other people, including speech that is entirely true.

Have I lied, exaggerated, or let a false impression stand because it suited me?
Have I damaged someone’s reputation by repeating their faults without need — even where what I said was true?
Have I judged another’s motives, where I could only see their actions?
Have I broken a confidence, or read or shared what was not mine to see?
Have I flattered, or stayed silent, where honesty would have helped someone?
Have I tried to repair the damage my words have done?

9. You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife

Where the sixth commandment concerns what is done, the ninth concerns what is entertained — the thought that is welcomed rather than the thought that merely arrives.

Have I deliberately entertained impure thoughts about someone?
Have I placed myself where I knew temptation would find me — an app, a feed, a friendship, a late hour?
Have I let my imagination feed dissatisfaction with my own marriage or vocation?
Have I taken reasonable steps to guard my eyes and my attention, or told myself it does not matter?

10. You shall not covet your neighbour’s goods

Envy is the quietest of the capital sins and the hardest to confess, because it rarely produces an action to name.

Have I been envious of what another person has — their money, their family, their health, their success?
Have I been ungrateful for what I have been given?
Have I let the desire for more govern how I spend, work, or treat the people around me?
Have I been glad, even briefly, at someone else’s misfortune?
Have I trusted God to provide, or acted as though it were entirely on me?

According to your state in life

If you are married

The marriage is the vocation. These questions are about it directly, not about the sins that happen to occur inside it.

Have I put my spouse before my work, my phone, my friends and my family of origin?
Have I been affectionate, or only functional?
Have I let a grievance run for weeks rather than settling it?
Have I spoken about my spouse to others in a way I would not want repeated?
Have I prayed with my spouse, or only near them?
Have I been open to children as the Church asks, and honest with my spouse about it?

If you are a parent

Parents answer for what their children were given, not for what their children became.

Have I taught my children to pray, and prayed with them?
Have I brought them to Mass, and to confession?
Have I disciplined them justly — neither harshly nor by letting everything go?
Have I let a screen do the work of my attention?
Have I let my children see me forgive, apologise, and go to confession myself?
Have I been honest with them about the faith when they asked hard questions?

In your work

Most of a life is spent here, and most examinations skip it. These are the ordinary occasions of sin in an ordinary week.

Have I been honest in what I claimed, reported, invoiced or promised?
Have I taken credit for work that was not mine, or withheld it from someone who deserved it?
Have I gossiped about colleagues, or joined in when others did?
Have I let ambition make me careless about who I stepped over?
Have I treated the people who serve me — in shops, on the phone, in my own team — as people?

If you are young

Not a lighter examination, a differently placed one. These are the questions that actually arise before the responsibilities of later life do.

Have I been kind, or have I gone along with cruelty because it was easier?
Have I been honest with my parents about where I go and what I do?
Have I worked at school as well as I can, or coasted and blamed it on the teachers?
Have I used my phone in ways I would be ashamed to show someone I respect?
Have I prayed on my own, without being told to?
Have I been generous with my time to someone who had nothing to give me back?

The Precepts of the Church

Five obligations that bind every Catholic. They are the floor rather than the ceiling, and they belong in an examination because they are easy to let slide without ever deciding to.

1.Attend Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation, and rest from work that would prevent it.
2.Confess your sins at least once a year.
3.Receive Holy Communion at least during the Easter season.
4.Observe the days of fasting and abstinence set by the Church.
5.Provide for the material needs of the Church, according to your means.

How to go to confession

In order, for anyone who has not been in a while and would rather know what happens before it happens.

1
Examine your conscience
Take fifteen quiet minutes with the questions above, or as many of them as are yours. Note what you need to say. You do not need a written list, but many people find one steadies them.
2
Be sorry for your sins
Sorrow for having offended God matters more than the strength of the feeling. If the sorrow is thin, say so; that is itself an honest thing to bring.
3
Resolve not to sin again
The resolution is to try, with God’s help, and to avoid what you know leads you there. It is not a promise that you will never fall again, which no one can make.
4
Confess your sins to the priest
Begin: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [however long] since my last confession.” Then say what you have come to say — kind and number, as far as you can. If you are stuck or it has been years, say that first and let the priest help you. He has heard it, and he cannot repeat a word of it to anyone, ever.
5
Do the penance he gives you
It will be small. Do it soon, before the day gets away from you.

The Act of Contrition

Said after confessing, usually while the priest is speaking. If you cannot remember it he will prompt you, and any sincere words of sorrow will do. This is the traditional form; there are several others in ordinary use, and all of them are valid.

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin. Amen.

Print it, or keep it on your phone

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For the nightly version rather than the pre-confession one, there is the Ignatian evening examination, which is a five-minute daily practice with narrated audio. Pride is the root most of these questions lead back to; the Litany of Humility is the prayer against it.

More free tools

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Frequently Asked Questions

It is the review of your life you make before going to confession: a set of questions, traditionally arranged by the Ten Commandments, put to yourself in God’s presence so that you can name what needs naming. It is not a test and there is no pass mark. Its purpose is to help you remember, not to produce a verdict.